The Plural of I
The funny thing is, I never once minded since that first night in our hotel room, sharing a bed with this man who is always part of the equation now. And believe me, that’s saying a lot in my mind. Before then, I had concerned myself only and ever with myself.
So, to walk down the isle and stand before friends and family and say, “I do,” and really mean it, well, that did mean a lot. It still means a lot. It means that I will forever have to decide what meal will work for two, what money will be spent to last for two, what furniture to buy that will fit two.
And then we wonder why marriages are failing us left and right. How can anything survive when there is no sharing, no complicity, no unity of being. How can I look at my children in their sweet faces and say love can last, if I can’t first look in my husbands eyes and say my love will last.
Yes, duality is hard. It means there is always someone else in your head. There is always the specter of another hovering above us. However, though on some days the idea of being the lone ranger seems like a fantastic idea, being part of a set is a great thing. It means there is always a friend on your side. There is always a cheer section for your life. There is always a companion for the unknown. And for that, I would repeat those vows all over again.