I’m Awake, I’m Awake

I woke up to see my daughter’s face pressed against the side of my bed, eye to eye. I started and blinked several times to wake up more fully and see what she needed. It was just after five thirty in the morning and this is not my normal time to wake up. I heard my husband rustling around, getting ready for work. This is his normal hour.

I passed her off to him, “give daddy a hug goodbye.” I mumbled this, hoping she would then go back to her room and sleep until a decent hour.

A reenactment of the scene.

When she had hugged her dad, she came back to face me and stayed watching me struggle to figure out what was happening. When I finally realized she wasn’t going away, I offered her my bed, “crawl in with mommy.”

For a few minutes I thought this would work, I shut my eyes to drift back to sleep. I felt her stir next to me. I sensed her move back the covers. I knew she was crawling out of bed. I kept my eyes shut. Then I heard her speaking with her brother. I knew their day had begun but I wasn’t letting that get me out bed. Not yet, just a few more minutes.

From that place of half sleep, I heard my children whispering. I heard my son tell his sister to be quiet, “mom is sleeping.” I heard my daughter whisper something unintelligible back to him. Then I heard footsteps on the stairs. They were finally going downstairs, maybe to turn on cartoons and sit staring at animated friends. I had a few more minutes before the cries for food would float up to me.

I burrowed deeper under warm covers and wished for darkness to stay a little longer, give me reason to snuggle in and avoid waking fully. At some point I went totally under, found sleep, dreamt. Then the whispers came back and it was time, to awake, to start my day.