Yesterday we were passing by our local courthouse and there was an inscription on the side of the building “if thou desire rest desire not too much.” I could not stop thinking about that inscription and woke up wondering what the author had in mind when writing it. Although I tried to find out more about the inscription I wasn’t able to learn much. So, I get to imbue my own meaning into this saying. I get to redefine the quote.
Right now I desire rest…
Last night I didn’t stay up until midnight. I was not one of the millions around the world who kissed at the stroke of twelve or watched the ball drop while counting down in unison. I don’t have anything against it I’m just no longer physically able. I have spent 365 days running around from one place to the next. Whether it’s setting up play dates or buying groceries or getting to swim class on time, life has been one long assignment after another this year. And my body is feeling it. So, I laid my head on the pillow last night, blinked a couple times and passed out. That’s what my body craves, rest.
While my soul yearns for spiritual awakening and my heart begs for nurturing love, my body just wants to lay down into oblivion. And let’s be honest, when we’re tired we don’t function at our best. How can I search for the divine and exercise my mind when my body fails me?
Not too much…
Okay, now we get to the not desiring it too much part…I get it now. While I am seeking the next opportunity for a snooze, when I get so tired watching the kids play in the park that all I want to do is run home and crawl into bed, and when the sight of my to do list makes me physically exhausted, I am desiring rest above all. It means I am putting my own needs ahead of those of my family, my friends, my God. And that drains me all over again. How do I break the cycle? I really want to know.
While I am not normally a resolution writer I will put this out into the ether for consideration, can I find rest in this new year?