Yesterday, we went to a birthday party for a little friend. She is turning five and is a princess through and through. My son was the only boy there. Most days my son, daughter, and she all play together and there are no problems. They divide their time between running and screaming and being the best of friends. They don’t discuss boy/girl issues or gender equality on the playground, they just play.
But try putting six girls and one boy into a house together and ignoring gender. All of a sudden doors are closed so princess dresses can get put on and privacy can be had and a little boy has to sit outside and wait. Unwrapping presents out of pink tissue paper and sparkly purple bags and finding out that the prize inside is another doll becomes somewhat tedious the third and fourth time. Even cake in pink and purple frosting just doesn’t taste the same.
Ultimately though, the true test comes in the games and craft time. They outlined themselves on craft paper and had artistic license to fill in the blank. The girls drew tutus and hearts and ribbons. My boy colored himself in just as he was, a little boy in a striped shirt and khaki shorts. A masterpiece to a mother, priceless art, but to the neighboring girl, boring because it’s just not pink enough and why doesn’t it have any glitter, so then a heart breaks.
My little boy sat in the car on the ride home and told me that no one told him they liked his picture even though everyone else got told they had nice pictures. I told him I’m sure they liked his picture. He proceeded to tell me that, no, in fact, no one told him they liked it. He’s sure it’s because he just didn’t put enough colors in it. So as soon as we got home he colored in every corner of his picture in the hopes it would be just that much prettier.
Boys and girls are different. Right now it’s just the colors he chose to use on paper. I told him his picture was beautiful. I liked the way the stripes were red and blue and the little boy had yellow hair just like him. Soon he will notice that some parties have boys and some have girls and he will want to go to the boy parties and his sister will want to go to the girl parties and that’s when the trouble begins. I guess I should be glad he just wanted to paint his picture and make it better. The other gender differences arrive soon enough.
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