A is for Agape
The Hidden Scrooge
I run around stringing lights, baking pumpkin bread, making sure everyone on the list has just the right gift. This is the time of year when I check and double check that everything is done just so. Not because I love Christmas, oh no, quite the reverse actually. See, I am the family Scrooge. I know, this is the wrong time of year to be admitting this but it is also the time of year it becomes most apparent. It is when I have to hide my true identity. The best way to disguise a Scrooge is to decorate every square inch of my home, smile brightly while wearing red sweaters, give to every toy drive in town and make sure my kids overdose on sprinkles.
Until I send this out to you, my husband will be the only one in town aware of my dark secret. I despise egg nog. I don’t care for cinnamon laced anything. And I really, really do not need a twenty four hour Christmas carol station that begins the day after Thanksgiving.
Here’s the thing, I married Mr. Holiday. My husband loves any excuse to decorate the house in thematic colors, bake cookies in shapes unrecognizable save for some colored frosting daubed on haphazardly. He can change the light bulbs for the front porch according to the season or holiday of choice. He looks forward to the next occasion before the last one has ended. I glower at him.
Even before we had children I knew he loved holidays and I did my best to accommodate. See, between his love of holiday, any holiday, and my need for particular decor it was imperative I take over the festive atmosphere. I glower at him some more. This time I do it while hanging stockings by the chimney with care. I glare at him while we pick out the perfect Christmas tree, symmetrical on every side and just the right height for the room it will sit in for he next month. Yes, I have taken over the holiday cheer and I do it with great aplomb, though not much smiling.
We have children now. The holidays have gotten bigger. There is more to do now. There are new traditions and more cheer to spread and I am exhausted with the effort of keeping my Scrooge hidden. Tonight we pulled out the tree ornaments and the kids oohed and aahed over each. They loved that they had their own first year ornaments. They hung so many of them up and there was so much glee. Later, I made hot chocolate and tea and there were cookies all around. I wonder if I have two more holiday lovers in the family. I’m so tired right now.
I know the reason for the season, this post isn’t about that. I may write about that later. This post is about the reason for all the effort we make during the season. It’s about our family. It is about seeing their faces light up when we get it all right. That’s why I do it, anyway. I certainly don’t need any of it. But my little girl loves hot chocolate and cookies. My son loves getting up in the morning and opening his Advent calendar. My husband, well, he seems to love it all. So, I will continue to make an effort, for them. They deserve it. They’ve been pretty good this year.