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We live in a fast paced world…I know, I know, you’ve heard it all before. It’s a world of weekend parenting. A world of five minute drive through dinners. A world of thirty minute laugh tracks that make us feel better about ourselves. Even as I sit in the park watching the beauty around me, exploding in front of my eyes, I am thinking of ten other things I could be doing, should be doing, need to be doing.
But wait, you’re writing this aren’t you. You must have some time to reflect. My answer to that is, we all have time to reflect, we just don’t. That’s the problem. We all have time. I know, you are super busy and I don’t know your woes. I’d like to hear about them sometime. I am listening to you.
I understand that you are running from place to place trying to figure it all out, trying to meet everyone’s needs. What would happen if you stopped, took a moment for you. Have you thought about it long enough? Do you need more time.
Because I’m not trying to imply that you aren’t busy, not even that I’m sitting here with nothing better to do, five things just crossed my brain, things I should be doing to better utilize my time.
The thing is, I would rather be sitting here talking to you. This is my time to present, share, discuss. This is my time to renew, refresh, reaffirm. My life is busy, like yours, maybe different.
Yet, I also need a bit of cleaning house for the mind. I need to energize my brain with thoughts outside the immediate need of others. I need to daydream the impossible every once in a while.
I’ve noticed that when it’s all about the daily, the material, I start to lose focus on why I’m doing any of it. Why am I picking up the dry cleaning for the third time this month. Why am I filling the dish washer for the second time today. Why am I driving to the grocery store for the third time this week.
When it is grind, grind, grind, without the pleasure of a sunset, the miracle of a bird’s song, the beauty of freshly fallen snow. When it’s bills, phone calls, emails….a sunset means not enough hours, the bird’s song irritates, snow means shoveling the drive. I don’t want to live that way.
I want to enjoy right now for what it is, flawed, exhausting, mind scrambling. I want to enjoy right now for what it could be, clean dishes, a friendly call, an email of love. I want to enjoy right now for what it should be, a moment in time so precious it hurts inside, so fleeting it brings a tear, so perfectly utterly mine. And I want to enjoy right now for what it needs to be, my moment with God, my husband’s embrace, my children’s glory. I want to live right now.