My newest mom-title is Shield. I remember as a child hearing my parents whisper things, knowing there were always discussions that did not include me. I also assumed that most of them were boring adult topics, issues of so little importance to me and my fascinating childhood.
I know now that a lot of those discussions really were just my parents recapping their day, that’s what I do with my husband. We can talk for hours about boring things that the children would not or could not care less about. But every once in a while, something major comes along, a subject that we truly have to discuss in whispers, signs and spellings.
I don’t think I have to review this year’s atrocities, this week’s atrocities for you, you know it’s been a bad one. Life is spiraling and I hear about it every time I turn on the radio or the television or any other of the media outlets in my home. And then I quickly change the channel or turn it off because I have little eyes following me everywhere I go.
My children are pretty smart little guys, I know that when I explain things to them they get it, but even I don’t get some of these tragedies, they just don’t fit in my mind and I certainly don’t need them to fit into the minds of my precious, innocent little ones. They aren’t ready for that, so I Shield them. I can answer questions honestly without being graphic, explain without scaring and I can definitely leave out the really awful parts.
The world is falling apart before my eyes but I’ve had many years to live my life, to see things both good and bad and because my parents did their job most of that life was spent thinking the world was a pretty ok place to be. Now it’s my turn, as bad as it gets, my job is to make it ok for my kids, make it better than ok.
This isn’t our home anyway, we’re waiting for a better place, but for now it’s the best one we have. I make it my job to teach my kids to share and be kind and love, things that will make our little space a happy and good place. But as hard as we try, things on the outside keep happening, things I can’t control. So, as a Shield, I get to be a big sunbeam. Within this tiny circle of people, they are loved, so truly and completely loved that none of the bad stuff can reach them.