A is for Agape
I finished and now what?
Sunday, I submitted the final paper of my Masters program. After almost three years of weekly homework, I’m done. No more required reading, deadlines, pages and pages of writing.
And I’m feeling lost.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m still busy doing life. I still have kids to take to school, run to classes, feed. I still go to work every day. I still have my husband and it’s nice to have more time to hang out. That’s all really great stuff.
But there is something about that Masters, following a long held goal, now that’s it’s done, I feel like a little piece of me is gone. I’m mourning.
I know I’ll get to the excited part eventually but it’s the pursuit of something that keeps us motivated and working hard. Once the carrot is eaten the horse stops, there’s no reason to keep running.
My husband asks me, “What should we do to celebrate?” He means well, but really I need to mourn first before I can celebrate and it’s really hard to explain to a man who doesn’t need a carrot to keep him going.
It doesn’t help that I’ve already mentioned a few projects I have in mind to keep me “busy” until the next big thing…so, yeah, celebrating isn’t in the cards right now.
“Let’s just do dinner”, I say.
But every couple days he brings it back up and so I know we’ll end up doing something, if not for me then for him. It’s good to celebrate accomplishments. I forget that sometimes while chasing carrots.