Today was Bring a Friend to Soccer day. In typical fashion, I forgot. I feel bad. Though he’s not the only one out there without a friend today, nonetheless, I do feel something akin to shame that he missed the opportunity.
As most of you already know, I have been finding ways to postpone my own mandated involvement in my children’s activities. One of the reasons I put off starting school is the inevitable field trip chaperoning. The bake sales, where I will remember at midnight, wake up in a cold sweat and bake into the wee hours of the morning, already give me nightmares. I will be the mother who ignores pleas for sleepovers until I can no longer withstand the nagging and even then reluctantly.
I am a loner myself. The fact that my children take so naturally to others, in fact seek out ways to socialize, just means more work for me. I do not want to carpool. I will forget to sign permission slips. It is difficult enough to keep up with my own effervescent children, without adding the energetic little friends that will pass through my living room.
But for now, I am sitting here experiencing a taste of the guilt I will experience even while saying “no” to another request for “dinner at a friend’s house.”